Random Free Write-just sharing my thoughts

Hey Diary

                I’m writing you to say that I’m having a thought of how relationships really work. Do people just fall in love at first sight or do it time like weeks or years. I fell in love in about a month before and I thought that he was just for me, I thought that we was going to last longer that the universe but I later figured out that it was just my subconscious speaking. My mind had a dream that it wanted to live out so it lived it out in me and made me think that suck a fantasy existed. I feel as if I will never find salvation in this world if I never find love. I’m not talking about family, not talking about friends; I’m talking about real love that you hear about in stories of some girl as the victim of a fatal mugging or possible hardship and a big strapping man comes to save her from her problems that she tries to work out herself. I had true love before when I met my other half. His name was Kay and I thought he was the best thing in the world that I ever laid eyes on and when I was with him I was whole. He hurt me in the end when he started distancing himself from me, from our relationship; but I knew it wasn’t his fault. I think it was me, my subconscious thought that I was capable of loving, but I knew the truth, I was just incapable of being human.